Based from our true to life
story.....
Jingle and Oliver
before we proceed to a longer discussion, let me share with you our song...
entitled BREAKAWAY..we made it to keep away the stresses..
this is for all of you guys..
specially to all the married couple out there..check this out..
Please watch it in Youtube, like, subscribe and share! thanks!
Genesis 2:22-24
The scripture is about how God made a man and
a woman combine as one. It says, when there’s a sacred
vow between a man and a woman, this is what we called “Marriage”. But marrying
is not an easy decision to make for it is a lifetime experience that a couple
must be together through thick and thin and it must be decided well or else
something happens terrible.
I have a lot of friends telling me their
problems about their marriage life. As I hear their different stories, I felt
pity for them. Breaking ups, settling for annulment, divorce, split-ups, and
other kinds of separations? That makes me burden! Didn’t they read about this
verse?
"Matthew
19:6; “So they are no longer two, but
one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate”
and in Matthew 19:7, it says; “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command
that a man
give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
Therefore annulment,
or divorce under the Law of God is prohibited!"
But God also pointed some verses in the bible
about the limitations; try to see the passages;
Matthew 5:31-32
"It was said, 'WHOEVER SENDS
HIS WIFE AWAY, LET HIM GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE'; but I say to you that everyone who
divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her
commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery."
This verse is in the New Testament
that maybe allowing God to have divorce only if the partner commits unchastity.
Other alibis are not reasonable. But God said maybe as possible do not
practice divorce and as possible live with your partner in a lifetime through
happiness and worst.
In short, God still doesn’t want
couples to depart different lives because they are already bonded as one.
Let me ask you, why there are lots of
people having the same problem like divorce if God declares that no man should
separate a married couple? Did one of them practice unchastity too? What
are exactly the reasons for their break ups? Can’t they be together until the
end of time? What should they do to make their relationship stronger and yet
greater? Is there any perfect relationship?
Is it a hard question to answer? Well,
let me tell you our story and some pointers of how we succeed in our married
life.
Me and my
husband
Oliver
Our Secrets:
1.Have an answered prayer of
a guy or a gal you want to marry
Mark 11:24- "Therefore I say to you, all
things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and
they will be granted you"
When
I was in high school, I made a deal to God. I told Him that I will not accept
suitors until I would graduate high school, and I did it! I used to pray every night
about a man of my life. I also told Him to give me a loving, God- fearing
husband at the right time. At the age of 13, I think of having a great husband
in the future! See how mature I was that time at the very young age? It’s just
because I want to have an assurance, that God would provide me a person that
will love me and I will love in the
future, though I don’t know where, when, or how I can find him and who is that
man, but faith keeps me in.
Finally, 2007 the year was, I met the man of my
dream. We are 7 years in a relationship and after 7 years, we decided to marry.
Now, we are 1 year and 5months happily married! As I reviewed my prayers before
and as I look into my husband now, I could definitely say, that he is my
answered prayer! You too must have one!
2. Know the Law of God.
"To the married I give this command (not I,
but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she
must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must
not divorce his wife."—1 Corinthians 7:10-11
What are the laws of God? The laws of God are
sacred and must be done for He is a great King of Kings who made all creation
in this world. As we know this world is just temporary, we are just a tourist
and God is the owner. That’s the reason why my husband and I really treasure
His law as what the verse above emphasizes. It is our responsibility to follow
and spiritually agree these holy rules even before or after the wedding.
Knowing these God’s rules can help your relationship stable and stronger no
matter what happen because you already know that no man could really separate
your relationship. My husband and I absolutely in favor of this verse and we believe that God only wants couple
not to be separated, therefore no to separation!
3. Know your responsibilities
and limitations.
Oliver
and I are very transparent to each other. I told him my weaknesses, my
strengths, my do’s and don’ts rules and vice versa. We always know our
responsibilities and we always keep reminding ourselves about our limitations.
These responsibilities and boundaries are based on the bible.
Try to understand this; “Now for the matters
you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. 2 But since there is so
much immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own
husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and
likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife's body does not belong to her
alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not
belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except by
mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer.
Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack
of self-control. ---1 Corinthians 7:1-16.
It is clearly written in the verse that to avoid immorality each man
should have his own wife and vice versa. Practically speaking, sex is a gift of
God, only for a married couple alone, and not to another party, that’s a big
NO! And a big SIN to make! Do not be an adulterer at heart guys because it
cannot bring your relationship into a victorious one.
4. .No to temptations! AVOID
it!
"But from the fruit of
the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, 'You shall not eat
from it or touch it, or you will die.'" the serpent said to the
woman, "You surely will not die! "For God knows that
in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God,
knowing good and evil."… Genesis 3:4
Temptation is already in this world before
Adan and Eve was created. Satan is the temptation one. Satan makes temptations,
and he loves doing it and spreading it into our world. The written verse above
shows the first attack of Satan to deceive Eve and to tempt her. Therefore
temptation is already given, and it’s up to you if you ride on this temptation.
God said, the world is full of trials, sins and temptations but still have
courage and hold on to Me no matter what. That’s always true for us couple. And
we always hold on to that word of God. We make God as the center of our love.
We fear God into the highest level, so do I and my husband fear to make any
immoral acts that against His will. We always consider this verse below;
Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage should be
honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the
adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”
I thank God that my husband born to be a God
fearing. He knows respect for a woman; he knows respect for a wife and knows
respect for our married life. Escaping temptations is what he would like to do
wherever he is. If you want your husband or wife to be loyal to you, pray that
he or she would fear God and everything follows better. So no to temptations, be
wise and avoid it!
5. Have a bonding in your
chosen Christian church.
Acts 20:28
"Be on guard for yourselves and
for all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to
shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood."
4 Sundays in a month, 1 Sunday in a week,
can’t we give time for a church? God wants us to worship and praise Him. He
loves people going to church in His call day especially the family, and Sunday
is a family day! I remember before I was not that active in going to our church
the “Foursquare Gospel Church”. I was a very shy type person that time and
every time I encountered church mates I used to bow my head and pretending that
I have dirt on my feet. Am I weird? I don’t think so. It came up to my mind not
to go to church anymore, but my late dad, told me that attending church
gatherings is very important for it is our one way of expressing love to God
and to make a stronger bond within a family. I realized then that my father is
right. It’s already 10 years now since my father past away and I thank him for
his undying advice when I was at my immature stage.
Now, I
am matured enough to seek more of God and I always remember what he said, “a
way of expressing love to God and a way to make a stronger bond within a
family.” Those thoughts keep me and Oliver bond to church. There’s willingness
inside our hearts to present ourselves in God’s call day. We both enjoy
praising and worshiping Him. Even if he has a hectic schedule of his work,
still he does his very best to attend the church day. I am very thankful to
have a husband like him for he is the column home who is so responsible.
Also,
going
to church is not only a way to make a stronger bond within a family or a
couple, but going to church is also to strengthen our spiritual life. To
strengthen our faith to God, to strengthen love to our partners and to
steady our hearts whatever hurts and hardships we have.
6.Read your bible, make it a habit.
Joshua
1:8 “This book of the law shall not depart out of your mouth; but you
shall meditate therein day and night, that you may observe to do
according to all that is written therein: for then you shall make your
way prosperous, and then you shall have good success.”
Bible is a holy book where the
words of God are listed. We are required to read, understand and
highlight every details and every important facts written in it. We as
a couple really admire the bible. For us, every written word there is important
and precious. We make it as a bond at home before going to sleep. Oliver would
explain and I would listen and when it’s my turn to speak, then he would listen
too. We exchange ideas about what we are reading and we enjoy doing it. By this
kind of routine, our spiritual life is added with power. It’s growing yet
brighter, and we make our light more lighter.
So
with a couple, this is very significant that they would
read the bible verses every day, at least 10 minutes or more depending
on your
availability. You can discuss with your partner about how God changes
your lives,
how He loves you or how you can manage your time together or manage your
relationship ‘till the end. By doing this, you are not just throwing
beautiful
opinions about what verses you are reading but also it helps to lessen
your
fights. There are no exemptions for that fight of a couple, but fight is
one of
a challenge that a couple should conquer. Instead of wasting your time
in quarreling
of those not in necessary things, I recommend you to invest your time
for reading the word of God and you will be amazed the serenity you will
experience after all.! Just make it a habit!
7. Do not let your arguments last up to 24 hours.
"BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity.……"--Ephesians 4:26-27
To tell you guys, I and
Oliver sometimes had fights and we can’t deny the fact that fights about personal
problems are just normal and already a given challenge. But, as a couple, as
long as possible, we fix it immediately. Actually he's always the one to fix it
all up. Lucky for me, I have a humble husband. But I'm not telling you that I
am not humble, I make everything to fix what we had fought too. It’s just
that, it’s a good feeling if a guy is the first to approach and make a way to
make things right again, and to find way to talk good things again.
Fixing the worst you had with
your partner is preventing Satan to spread poisonous sin. Yes it is true, Satan
won’t be able to destroy your relationship if you will reconcile again. So, do
not give Satan an opportunity to hurt you nor ruin your married life with his
toxic ways, but, give God an opportunity to make all things right or certain in
every challenge you may have in your life.
8. Sing worship songs, and unwind.
"Sing
to the LORD a new song, Sing His praise from the end of the earth! You
who go down to the sea, and all that is in it. You islands, and those
who dwell on them. Let
the wilderness and its cities lift up their voices, The settlements
where Kedar inhabits. Let the inhabitants of Sela sing aloud, Let them
shout for joy from the tops of the mountains".…Isaiah 42:10-11
I read an article about
stress. It says that singing for at least 10 minutes a day, could lessen your
stress where in fact this is a big true! So if singing is a way to lessen up
stress, how much more singing the worship songs? Well, it could definitely blow
your stress away!
We love listening and singing
Christian songs, especially new worship songs and we have lots of favorite Christian
bands including Hillsong and Kari Jobe Group. Their songs are amazing and we can’t
help but to sing every hour every day! My husband told me that wherever he goes
and even he’s at work, he still hear the sounds of our favorite Christian songs
and he would love to sing it for it feels him better when he’s at stress
especially when it’s rush hour. So, what are you waiting for? Search for the
best Christian songs you would like to sing and make it a habit every day to
sing it. Surely it will make your life happy. Be unwind!
9. Communicate with your
partner.
Matthew 12:37 (ESV) “…for by your words you
will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”
Communication is a connection
between people in particular. Without it, there would be chaos and
misunderstanding. This 13 letters and one word is very vital to be practiced by
a couple, for it is their way to exchange ideas or opinions to one another. A
married couple as a long term or a lifetime relationship must be open ears to
one another to prevent complications too.
In a partner, women are the
most talkative and I admit that too. We are emotional and we love talking to
our husbands every now and then. We love sharing about how things going on or
whatever topics we would like to talk too. Most of the time we are the one who
make the topics and we love it. I don’t know why we are like that but to tell
you I love talking to my husband always before he goes at work or when she gets
home from work. So funny to remember the things we used to talk about and my
husband always tried to listen though sometimes he’s sleepy. I love my husband!
But of course I let him sleep whenever he wants too. I also understand that he
is tired.
So,
gentlemen, remember this
always. Never sleep while your wives are talking or else they will slap
your
face. I’m just kidding! Seriously, please gentlemen, always listen to
your
wives whenever they tell you some sort of a story, whenever it’s kind a
boring
or not, just have a little patience to listen because they are just
missing
you. They just wanted to be sweet and nice after your whole day work.
They just
wanted you to feel comfortable and to feel entertained by their exciting
stories after your stressful day. If you are tired or if
you want to sleep just tell your wives though to keep them inform. They
would
understand you if you will just explain.
10. Pray for your future.
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the
plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm
you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Prayer is a powerful tool to communicate God. It is a one way of expressing
our problems and desires or wishes and every couple must practice such an
intimate prayer. Married couple must pray to one another for God knows your
future. God will bless your family as long as you stick to his promises. Every
night I used to pray with my husband and let God do the rest of our lives.
Whenever we have shortages in financial or whatever high expenses we have, we
just pray and ask God’s help and God always work and makes a way. We are very
thankful that God have been living with us throughout the years.So always make God as your center always and believe on Him.
“Praying over your spouse is not only a necessity, but it is also a
privilege. God loves us so much, and he loves to hear our hearts for our loved
ones. Praying over them is a wonderful way to bless our partner because it
speaks prophetically over them.” –Karla Hawkins.
Finally! You got our 10 secrets behind a successful
marriage. Congratulations! We hope you have learned to our experiences and we do hope that you
apply it to your daily life as you explore the world of marriage. You may visit
our other sites posted beside this website. Please comment below what you would
like me to share in the future post. Thank you so much for reading! May God
always be with you and God bless your family and your marriage!
Jingle & Oliver
